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welcome to my life ; Monday, December 15, 2008 23:46
the first day back for cheer after standchart performance and i failed to catch geokghee from falling.
i think i really have a lot to improve. and catching flyers isn't as easy as catching balls when you're the goalkeeper. because catching soccer balls, you can do it with one hand but catching flyers, even your whole arm isn't enough.
i seriously need consistency.
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if anyone thinks i'm enjoying every second of my life now, then you seriously don't know me. everything i do, i've to put up a front. because it's not easy to be struggling with gastric and nausea for the past three months.
every shopping centre i enter, i look for the exit. i've fears of taking bus because it'd be very uneasy if i've to throw out in a crowded bus. even in class everyday, i've to look out for the toilets, because i might have to make a dash any moment.
i have to shun outings because i know it's not convenient for me to be out of my house. everywhere i go, i carry a plastic bag in my pocket.
if i feel the lest hungry, my stomach would react with a very nausea feeling that tells me i might throw out any moment. i've to keep eating every < 2 hours.
medical treatment is expensive. it all goes down to money. i've taken almost every medicine there is to treat gastric and nausea, but it doesn't help. even when i keep eating, i still don't feel well.
the only place that gives me peace is at home. where i can find comfort. this two weeks of holidays is for me to pray and hope that i would recover before school starts. chances are minimal, but i'm not giving up. not now.
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