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new year's eve! ; Wednesday, December 31, 2008 22:02
today is new year's eve and also my parent's wedding anniversary! cds was cancelled so we left school early. reached home before 3.
went to sushi tei at vivo city for dinner! the food is nice! a pity i didn't get to enjoy the food because of my stomach. it just insists on giving me problems.
the following pictures were taken with my 4 YEAR OLD handphone's ONE MEGAPIXEL CAMERA. when i change my phone, i should get one with a better camera.
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table setting
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ten don. my dinner
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SUPPOSEDLY a christmas tree
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random figure of art
seriously speaking, though i'm resigned to my stomach condition, it's cutting down on my outdoor activities. can't go out with friends tonight for countdown because it'd be inconvenient especially when i feel nausea. like i did during my dinner.
when am i supposed to do to get cured? i'll do anything. even if it's not within my needs. as the saying goes, torture is a worse fate than death.
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; 00:30
i got back 2 of my 3 term tests and passed them!
dbms - 31/50
itech - 21/40
seriously didn't expect to pass itech. thought i did horribly. still, there goes my hopes of a distinction.
cheer today was.. backspot-ed for bryan, melvin and simin. i think my cushioning sucks.
anyway, training next week is saturday, monday, tuesday, wednesday and thursday. *speechless*
probably going larry's house on new year's day for steamboat. don't think i'm going to stay over because that means 99% not sleeping.
i'm just curious with my cds group mates. how do you expect me to redo my work when i reach home at 0030 today, have 8am class in the morning and our lesson starts at 2. so how do i submit it to you on time? skip my sleep? i was reading my mail and i regretted turning on my laptop to read it.
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blazers party! ; Monday, December 29, 2008 23:59
i convinced myself to wear the national pants and camp tee to school because the weather was really cold in the morning.
thanks to kelwin, melvin, bryan, simin and suhui for the blazers party today! did i miss out any other organisers?
i think the only time i can let myself go during my time in poly is with cheer. because my class is hopeless. especially during the games. i know i'm not that good in acting, but things happen when you're the only guy in the group (before ken was added).
things like wearing a cheer skirt, having to put makeup and everything else. thanks to stephanie, jasmine, fezah (spell?), ken and mrs keong for the makeup! (:
anyway, no regrets. really had fun throughout the whole event. back to normal training tomorrow!
the fantasy of harbouring the thought when you know it's practically not possible.
then again, it's practically.
thats why it's a fantasy, and i like it. (:
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; Sunday, December 28, 2008 23:12
night cycled with shiyuan last night and morning cycled with my family at east coast park today. lucky gerald messaged to cancel gym.
anyway, school starts tomorrow. i'm not exactly looking forward to it as usual. (:
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night cycling again!! ; 00:45
i simply going night cycling with shiyuan. anyway, cycled to yck chapel because was supposed to go bryan's house for bbq. ended up just going to say hi because shiyuan was with me and it didn't seem very convenient.
went off from there. cycled along yio chu kang road to upper serangoon road, before turning to upper aljunied road along mount venon. don't worry we didn't venture in. initial plan was to cycle to payar lebar but abandoned that as it was getting late.
turned back and had prata. ordered 2, ate 1 and brought the other home. i came up with this equation:
one prata + milo dinosaur = nausea AGAIN
yeah, felt that throughout the journey home. and till now. don't know whether the prata was too oily, i ate too full or because of the milk in the milo. either way, i'm feeling sucky now. :(
oh ya. my laptop can't detect the cd-rom drive. anyone can help? thanks!
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boxing day ; Friday, December 26, 2008 23:15
my apologies to the people who i forgotten to wish a merry christmas. that happens the whole singapore chooses to mass message at midnight. the line gets jammed and messages are lost. :(
anyway people, i'll be doing mass messaging to everyone in my contact list. if you don't reply my message i'll probably delete you, because i want to clear my contact list. if you're reading this and are wondering, you can text me to add you back. (:
i swear manu is super lucky. they keep scoring last minute goals.
and i enjoy watching the little nyonya on youtube! currently at episode 8. (:
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it's christmas day! ; Thursday, December 25, 2008 12:31
today is christmas and i've just reached home. feeling very sleepy because i didn't sleep last night.
yesterday.
dinner was at my father's boss super big house in west coast. it was partially to celebrate christmas and also their son's birthday party. ate a variety of their catered food, as well as christmas food like turkey!
left at 2230. my father decided to fetch me to tampines mrt. took the benjamin sheares bridge. passed the singapore flyer which wasn't working because of the capsule event two days ago. anyway, it looked nice! couldn't take a picture though. :(
apparently there's no 24-hour food centre in tampines central. ended up buying cake from q-bread. walked to larry's house after that.
first time going to larry's house for christmas countdown! was joined with graham, charyl, suhui, simin, melvin, bryan and ken.
indian poker is horrible, especially the forfeit. lucky i didn't have to drink anything, or i could have sent myself to the hospital. watched eurotrip on melvin's laptop. shall watch the full movie another day. (:
by 0400, it was only larry, ken, charyl, melvin and bryan left. played dota for 7 hours and we only won 1 match against the computer. *speechless*
cab-ed home. supposed to sleep when i reach home, but i washed my hair so i can't sleep. idling now. (:
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scandalised ; Tuesday, December 23, 2008 23:46
i boarded the bus at 1540 and reached school at 1630! if only i could reach school in 50 minutes on a normal school day.
anyway, the tailor was supposed to come at 1645 but came at 1745 instead. forced myself on a hunger strike until the end of training. don't suppose that's good for my stomach but it's already passed.
training today was..in a sense, better than yesterday. we had eleven people today because justin wasn't really present. bryan and gary were substituted with kelwin and melvin, and it's the same for the rest.
larry decided that we run 6 rounds and i clocked 13 minutes 57 seconds, which is a napha fail. training was sort of cancelled, so we headed to the courts and played basketball. kelwin stepped on my shoe twice and i decided that i shouldn't stand below the net and snatch for the ball anymore.
everything ended around 2055. first time training end before 9!
i was scandalised three times after training. that's what happens when things get too bored, seriously.
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((: ; Monday, December 22, 2008 22:50
today is supposed to be our third year anniversary.
anyway, i left my house at 1220 and reached school at 1305 today. should have taken my mother's advice. meeting at 1, reach at 2. there's people bound to be late.
went cheer training today. a total of twelve people including three seniors. i survived training with just bryan and gary! amazing attendance. learnt new conditioning today! hold legs for one second, immediately cramp.
tomorrow have to reach school at 1645 to make adjustments to the uniform. then i think i'm going to sleep until six when training starts because i'm lazy to bring my laptop. or maybe i would.
installed left 4 dead in my laptop and realised that the latency is too high to play. tried mounting the iso image for red alert 3 but failed so far.
and my brother is back! yay!
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afc suzuki cup 2008 ; Sunday, December 21, 2008 21:58
singapore lost 1-0 to vietnam at the national stadium, which means that they are out of the afc cup.
i wanted to sympathise with them, but looking at the chances they missed after vietnam scored the 76th minute goal, i could say that it was much deserving.
anyway, another match to look forward to later. same to arsenal. if they don't take their chances, liverpool will run away with the victory.
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day 7 of 8 ; 18:31
accompanied gerald to orchard to shop for some birthday present today. went to paragon first, before going to the forum's toys'R'us.
somehow i feel at ease whenever i'm with him. like i can say whatever i want. (:
anyway, some photos because i was bored.
pooh and eeyore
cookie monster!
arsenal and liverpool tonight. if we win, it'll be a major boost. then again, it's not going to be an easy match. whatever it is, i'm still an arsenal fan despite my criticisms. (:
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night cycling! ; 01:48
i just came back from night cycling with shiyuan!
it's been a long time since we last met and cycled together..even if it's just to upper thomson road to eat minced meat noodles. (:
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day 6 of 8 ; Saturday, December 20, 2008 22:37
i realised that i can watch channel 8's "the little nyonya" on youtube! can console myself when i miss episodes due to cheer training.
anyway, finished watching heroes season 3. watched the first two episodes of the little nyonya today. the next movie on my list is battle royale, though i think i'd push till i finish this show. (:
went to junction 8 with my parents just now. it's so crowded. don't understand how peoe can shop when you can't even navigate properly. gerald asked me to accompany him to town tomorrow. i'm considering because if there's going to be tonnes of people, i rather not go.
shiyuan just called me a dota freak. actually i don't really like it. it's just that i've nothing else to do or play.
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day 5 of 8 ; Friday, December 19, 2008 23:17
i ate my breakfast and lunch within an hour, and didn't feel hungry for the rest of the afternoon. so when i did, i ate a banana cake and nothing else. felt very nausea before dinner. i just keep doing this to myself.
supposed to have cds meeting this afternoon but they changed to monday. and who did i give my consent to that i'm free on monday?
kelwin and melvin won't be going training on monday. terence is not in singapore. i'm feeling doubtful. then, xianlong has to tell me there's cds meeting at one in school on monday. thats a five hour difference.
wtf. anyway, i was supposed to go to the gym today but i was too lazy to. watch the replay of the cwc match between manu and gamba osaka whick ended 5-3. 6 goals in the last 20 minutes.
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day 4 of 8 ; Thursday, December 18, 2008 23:50
terence is leaving for taiwan tonight and coming back on christmas at around 1900.
i went for the first cheer training on my own today! felt kind of weird without terence around. now i understand the feeling.
cab-ed down to chomp chomp with bryan and kelwin after training for dinner. $5 hokkien mee, $5 fried kuay tiao, $4 fried carrot cake and 2 cups of $3 sugar cane juice shared among 3 people.
got my cheer uniform today! feels like an achievement somehow. (:
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day 3 of 8 ; Wednesday, December 17, 2008 22:43
it feels so good to wake up at eleven in the morning to know that there's no training in the evening. anyway, my body's still aching from yesterday's gym and training.
watched a walk to remember this afternoon. it's a super nice show that i'll not hesitate to watch over and over again.
finished downloading the last episode of heroes season three today. anyone who wants the complete set of season 1, 2 and 3 just tell me. (:
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day 2 of 8 ; Tuesday, December 16, 2008 23:47
went to the gym with my sister this morning though there was training later in the evening. didn't really bother about it. did reduced sets of my upper body and some legs.
i realised that if i leave my house later, i'll reach tampines mall earlier. i left earlier today and reached later. some logic.
cheer today was another ok. learnt b-toss by watching. actually i feel that i'm learning a lot of things just by watching, because many of it can't be done by me during training. anyway, i still have a few more months to complete my trial. (:
my whole body is aching from gym and training. i predict that i can't get up from my bed tomorrow morning because it's too pain.
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welcome to my life ; Monday, December 15, 2008 23:46
the first day back for cheer after standchart performance and i failed to catch geokghee from falling.
i think i really have a lot to improve. and catching flyers isn't as easy as catching balls when you're the goalkeeper. because catching soccer balls, you can do it with one hand but catching flyers, even your whole arm isn't enough.
i seriously need consistency.
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if anyone thinks i'm enjoying every second of my life now, then you seriously don't know me. everything i do, i've to put up a front. because it's not easy to be struggling with gastric and nausea for the past three months.
every shopping centre i enter, i look for the exit. i've fears of taking bus because it'd be very uneasy if i've to throw out in a crowded bus. even in class everyday, i've to look out for the toilets, because i might have to make a dash any moment.
i have to shun outings because i know it's not convenient for me to be out of my house. everywhere i go, i carry a plastic bag in my pocket.
if i feel the lest hungry, my stomach would react with a very nausea feeling that tells me i might throw out any moment. i've to keep eating every < 2 hours.
medical treatment is expensive. it all goes down to money. i've taken almost every medicine there is to treat gastric and nausea, but it doesn't help. even when i keep eating, i still don't feel well.
the only place that gives me peace is at home. where i can find comfort. this two weeks of holidays is for me to pray and hope that i would recover before school starts. chances are minimal, but i'm not giving up. not now.
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day 1 of 8 ; 09:20
it feels so weird that i wake up now and my brother is away on the plane to vietnam. it just doesn't feel right.
anyway, my sister just went out so i'm alone at home. hate making plans because with my stomach, anything can happen.
probably meeting shiyuan to watch bolt or madagascar 2 later before going cheer.
i'm undergoing the get-out-of-the-house operation because my doctor advised me to spend minimal time staring at the computer. (:
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psychiatric ; Sunday, December 14, 2008 14:24
visited my gp for the 6th time since september yesterday. now it's not so much of gastric. the new term's reflux.
anyway, i've been given +-10 days medication. if no improvements then it's ultrasound for bhs. following which, they're going to ward me in the hospital for thorough checks. if there's nothing wrong, then i'm going to get psychiatric help.
my current food restrictions have been reduced to caffeine-based drinks such as coffee and tea, coconut milk and spicy and sour food. means to say i can drink milk! still, i think i'll slowly drink soya bean milk and get used to it first.
i've been advised to get out of the house instead of staring at the computer. it's the holidays, and everyone's working. i don't really know what is there to do.
gerald says no to induce vomiting, so i killed the thought. went with gerald on friday to sportslink. bought new shoes! $99.90 after discount. i thought it was on impulse, but decided that i needed to get shoes anyway.
my brother's going vietnam on monday morning for a week. there always seem to be someone missing in the house. :(
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internetworking technologies ; Friday, December 12, 2008 17:51
sometimes i really hate myself for giving in to peer pressure. after so much that i've got myself to change, i'm still not strong enough.
i know i've been struggling with gastritis for the past three months. no one knows better than myself how i feel. i could've been happily doing my paper in the quarantine room today but i had to act smart. if someone tells me that i'm okayy, i'll tell myself that i can take the paper with everyone else.
the room was freezing cold. even with my jacket on, i knew that i wasn't feeling well. it didn't help that i wasn't sure how to use my own calculator. my body shivered with cold and fear. i pressed hard without telling anyone, forcing myself to finish the paper and get out of the class without checking. and i realised that i've done everything wrong.
the question i've been asking myself is why. friends are important, but they shouldn't have any influence in my life. the consequences are now, i've to give up the thought of scoring a distinction for my itech and wonder whether i'd even pass.
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worries aside.
after today, i've finally seen my class spirit and i know what to expect in our last year as a class in poly. for starters, i know that there's nothing that can ever bond my class together as one. no events exist in the world of my class.
you may ask how did i celebrate the end of my last paper today. i've seen classes go out for movies, lunch and so on. i spent my time at the lan shop in tampines sports hall.
still, i would like to offer my thanks to the following people:
1. wei liang
2. terence
3. xian long
4. khairul
5. faizal
knowing my condition, these people have always been very patient with me. when i always need to eat, they'll just quietly wait and watch me finish my food, no matter how long i take.
seriously, it's not because i mix with them in my everyday school life. in fact, it's only this semester that i got out of my anti-socialness.
i'm not god. neither am i him. i can never achieve what he did and gain the amount of respect he gained. that's the distinguishing factor.
i've given up on my class. i don't know what can i do to make them united as one, because i think there's nothing.
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database management systems and design ; Thursday, December 11, 2008 17:18
i did my paper today at the quarantine room! couldn't stand my nausea-ness anymore. and i thought that it would be more convenient if i were to vomit alone in the room, even with a plastic bag.
i brought the question paper out of the examination room and school unknowingly until khin ann mon called me and asked me to return it.
itech tomorrow! last paper! and i'm supposed to feel happy.
anyway, took maxalon from jarred today but i haven't touched it because i don't want an overdose of drugs in my body.
what are we doing after school tomorrow? i only wanted to make things right. and it's that hard.
what are we doing?
you used to ask me that. and i still remember everything.
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internet appliances ; Wednesday, December 10, 2008 15:41
i'm done with the first paper. made some careless mistakes. and i'm using my stomach as an excuse.
at the 20 minute mark, i could feel the acid eating out the remains of my stomach. i felt like submitting my paper and get out of the class even though i haven't finished. then again, i couldn't leave yet.
hopefully tomorrow would be better because it's an afternoon paper. i can EAT a little more than two slices of bread before entering the exam hall.
haven't started my revision yet. going downstairs to eat because i had my lunch at 1230 and i'm feeling hungry now.
anyway, i found the link for the blazers juniors standard chartered 2008 performance.
-->click here to view it!<--
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i suddenly thought of raihan. i became very emotional lately.
and my mother said, dreams are the opposite of reality.
evelyn told me otherwise. but i forgot what she said, and i can't be bothered to scroll through the 876 messages in my handphone.
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first anorexic boy ; Tuesday, December 09, 2008 18:06
i was reading online forums on how to induce vomiting. came across this page that says, the anorexic way.
then i was chatting to qiming on msn. he was saying that imagine i vomit non-stop after inducing, that would be the headlines in tomorrow's home section.
considered that. think i would consult my mother first. then again, i'm kind of disgusted by the thought of that. and seriously, i don't dare.
anyway, it's ia first thing in the morning tomorrow. hopefully i'll survive at least 30 minutes, then i can run out of the class if anything happens.
full revision on ia in a few moments.
whatever happens tomorrow, would be decided tomorrow. i'll take things in my stride. (:
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in paradise ; Monday, December 08, 2008 18:33
how nice would it be if the weather everyday would be like this morning's, or rather, the whole day today.
for a moment, i thought i was in genting. the cold breeze just makes you feel in paradise.
the reality is, i'm at home in singapore and my first term test paper starts in less than two days.
done my read-ups for ia and dbsm during the weekend. attempting to finish itech by tonight so tomorrow will be purely ia.
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pearl harbour anniversary ; Sunday, December 07, 2008 15:48
i choose to remember today as the 67th pearl harbour anniversary instead of the standchart all juniors performance today to make me feel better.
anyway, i almost forgotten about the event today until i came to writing this post.
i just accessed my term test timetable.
10dec08 - internet appliances,
11dec08 - database management system & design,
12dec08 - internetworking technologies.
the first paper is two days away. and i haven't started studying.
however, the thing i worry most is my stomach. thought of asking for an isolation room in case i need to make an emergency escape. (:
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standchart ; Saturday, December 06, 2008 22:41
my stomach's condition took a turn this afternoon. it seems to be immune to food
normally if i eat, the nausea feeling would subside for awhile. for a few moments just now, the more i eat, the worse i felt.
could feel the acid literally feeding on everything in my stomach. went with my family to northpoint to shop. i seriously felt like vomitting, but nothing came out.
i'm scared. the feeling of it sucks. after all, it's been 3 months already.
maybe it's a good thing that i'm not in tomorrow's performance.
singapore standard chartered marathon 2008 tomorrow. (:
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; Friday, December 05, 2008 20:55
if i say that i'm not disappointed to be left out of sunday's standard chartered performance, then i'm lying.
but what's to be said has already been said. and everyone knows i'm not in the pink state of health.
anyway, for those who are performing, enjoy yourselves!
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chances ; Thursday, December 04, 2008 14:14
this was meant to be yesterday's post. anyway,
if i have the chance, i'll take it.
if it's anyone's responsibility to take care of my health, it won't be yours. you don't have to worry about that.
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day 13 of 13 ; Tuesday, December 02, 2008 23:49
yay! my sister is back from cambodia. it's really that fast. thirteen days.
the thing i hate about poly's "english" modules is that it is never direct. nothing to say about orgcom's ipic test today.
itech lab test is easy! thanks to weiliang for telling me in the morning how to connect the cables. or i wouldn't even have the connection.
went to the dental clinic to remove my stitches this morning. feels so much better with nothing in my mouth. one whole month to heal! chewing on one side is tiring for the teeth.
i went cheer training today. as expected, i did nothing. or maybe i did. standing for two hours being a model.
i thought of saying something else but this blog isn't as privatised as it used to be anymore. i should do something about it.
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day 12 of 13 ; Monday, December 01, 2008 22:23
arsenal beat chelsea 2-1 at stamford bridge early this morning. something i believe, before liverpool won them earlier this season, arsenal were the last team to win there before the 4 year record started.
school today was OKAYY. i submitted my h&t report at 1659, a minute before the 1700 deadline. massive printing jams everywhere (except itas because i printed my report there).
skipping h&t lecture tomorrow morning again. going dental to remove the stitches. i believe i can finally attend cheer training tomorrow.
my only concern is, what am i going to do when everyone's training for sunday's standard chartered performance.
anyway, my sister is coming back tomorrow afternoon! two weeks really passed that quickly. (:
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