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internetworking technologies ; Friday, December 12, 2008 17:51
sometimes i really hate myself for giving in to peer pressure. after so much that i've got myself to change, i'm still not strong enough.
i know i've been struggling with gastritis for the past three months. no one knows better than myself how i feel. i could've been happily doing my paper in the quarantine room today but i had to act smart. if someone tells me that i'm okayy, i'll tell myself that i can take the paper with everyone else.
the room was freezing cold. even with my jacket on, i knew that i wasn't feeling well. it didn't help that i wasn't sure how to use my own calculator. my body shivered with cold and fear. i pressed hard without telling anyone, forcing myself to finish the paper and get out of the class without checking. and i realised that i've done everything wrong.
the question i've been asking myself is why. friends are important, but they shouldn't have any influence in my life. the consequences are now, i've to give up the thought of scoring a distinction for my itech and wonder whether i'd even pass.
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worries aside.
after today, i've finally seen my class spirit and i know what to expect in our last year as a class in poly. for starters, i know that there's nothing that can ever bond my class together as one. no events exist in the world of my class.
you may ask how did i celebrate the end of my last paper today. i've seen classes go out for movies, lunch and so on. i spent my time at the lan shop in tampines sports hall.
still, i would like to offer my thanks to the following people:
1. wei liang
2. terence
3. xian long
4. khairul
5. faizal
knowing my condition, these people have always been very patient with me. when i always need to eat, they'll just quietly wait and watch me finish my food, no matter how long i take.
seriously, it's not because i mix with them in my everyday school life. in fact, it's only this semester that i got out of my anti-socialness.
i'm not god. neither am i him. i can never achieve what he did and gain the amount of respect he gained. that's the distinguishing factor.
i've given up on my class. i don't know what can i do to make them united as one, because i think there's nothing.
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