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day 11 of 13 ; Sunday, November 30, 2008 23:34
i missed wildcards opening at ulu pandan this morning, citing medical reasons. but who really cares anyway?
i've been battling my recurrent dyspepsia for three months. my hyperventilation subsided a little. my removed-wisdom-tooth wound is recovering, and i'm going to have the stitches removed on tuesday morning.
no one can say i haven't tried. i've always made my parents worry for me. i don't feel safe anywhere anymore.
somehow i feel i might never recover. gp and chinese medication don't work on me.
i won't give up.
take my hand
hold me close
say those three words
like you used to
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day 10 of 13 ; Saturday, November 29, 2008 21:14
yesterday.
went to united square for the second time in my life yesterday. ended up taking the wrong lift to the carpark and got myself stuck in the lift for 5 minutes because it refused to go back to the lobby without going to the other carpark floors.
anyway, all the australian tourism commissions were clustered in the same office unit. got my brochures and some photos that would only serve the report and not for normal browsing.
took a train down to stb's visitor centre. xianlong was still lost in beach road.
met weiliang, terence, khairul and faizal at plaza sing to eat carls junior. i ate a large fries and thats it. actually, that's on my forbidden food list also. but i realised there was nothing much i could eat there anyway.
walked to the national library after that. quite fruitless on finding j2me books. ended up borrowing a book on perth for my fta and a garfield comic! (:
last to note, i ate fish porridge/ soup for all my three meals.
today.
i've been staring at my laptop since one, doing my fta individual report. i've completed 6 out of 8 questions and i'm not very proud of it. still, i'm trying to finish it tonight.
wildcards performance tomorrow. still delibrating on whether i should go tomorrow because i can't train anyway. or i could and my father would probably personally remove me from the cca.
either way, someone's not going to be happy.
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day 8 and 9 of 13 ; Friday, November 28, 2008 11:00
yay! the blog review thing is finally gone. thanks to my white screen. blogger had ruled that it was the target of spammers and hackers.
i seriously doubted that i needed to be present for yesterday's ia presentation. anyway, beats spending the whole day staring at my laptop.
accompanied weiliang and terence to heartland mall for dinner, then went to amkhub to borrow the camera from qiming. thanks!
leaving my house when my handphone finishes charging, which the latest should be 1230. going to united square to take pictures and brochures for my fta, before meeting xianlong outside the stb visitors' centre in orchard.
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i think whoever i go out with, unless i'm really that close to you, i'll be more of a liability because of my current condition.
anything can happen, anytime anywhere.
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day 7 of 13 ; Wednesday, November 26, 2008 13:30
i have effectively missed two consecutive wednesday of amca, which tallies to six hours of lab work!
orgcom assignment yesterday was crappy. i had to do letter of complaint when all the information was given for incident report. there's a real problem with my confidence level.
done my makeup itech quiz also. i think i made the same mistakes as i did for the original quiz, though i still think i'll pass.
next week's the last week of school! however, it won't be an easy week. itech lab test at 5 on tuesday, followed by amca quiz on wednesday morning, then htb class test in the afternoon.
i still have to recupurate. it goes to show how i really plan my time.
including tomorrow, i'd have missed 4 consecutive cheer trainings already. the seniors used to say, "catch up or stay behind". this i think, really have a lot to catch up when i go back.
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day 5 and 6 of 13 ; Tuesday, November 25, 2008 22:31
monday.
i survived going to school and the journey home on friday! even i'm amazed. nothing much happened in the bus. skipped cheer for the third time because i don't think my body's ready for that amount of exercise yet.
today.
my wisdom tooth really hurt to the max last night. couldn't sleep all morning. had to force myself to sleep with the pain.
tried going to 3 dental clinics in the morning but to no avail. there were appointment-based. luckily my mother managed to call one which had an available slot for me!
cab-ed to school and back to the clinic. spent $24.40 on transport. remember tllm? i'm elsm (earn less spend more).
went for wisdom tooth surgery. i was totally scared throughout the 50 minute process. kept trying to calm myself down.
3 days mc, means i don't have to attend school till next week. just had my medicine. hopefully the pain would be bear-able tomorrow morning.
everything tastes so bloodified now. :(
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random ; Sunday, November 23, 2008 22:04
i googled benny hinn this morning. pardon me, but he's just as controversial as the da vinci code.
then again, it's where your belief lies that's affecting your perspective. anyway, i'm not so bothered about it. was just wondering who he really is because i'm not into anything religious.
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watching arsenal play soccer is so frustrating. i guess i'll read more garfield comics instead.
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day 2, 3, 4 of 13 ; 00:24
procrastination. that's the word to describe why i didn't blog for the past two days of my thirteen-day countdown.
i somehow managed to gym with weiliang, xianlong and terence on friday. went to see a chinese physician at night for my stomach. it's either i'm not used to the chinese herbs used, or it tastes real disgusting. :(
saturday.
benny hinn.
asia conference at singapore expo.
note: i spent my whole day there. from 1145 to 2300.
thanks to qiming, who brought me there for the exposure.
i know there were times when he was caught in between the programme, his cell group friends and me. no matter how vengeful i felt just now, i regret it now. because i know he knows i'll be more of a liability and yet he took the chance.
it's my third time attending a church function. i realised that cell group people are very nice and friendly. however, i don't think it's time for me to choose a religion. not yet.
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day 1 of 13 ; Thursday, November 20, 2008 22:37
today's the first day that my sister is away for ocip in cambodia.
for my sleep, i gave up seeing my sister off at the airport this morning at 4am.
my hyperventilating is getting worse. i missed dbsm and itech lecture today because i felt i couldn't breathe well in the lecture theaters. was reading online on stress and hyperventilation. realised that i had many of the points there.
i need to relax!!
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; Wednesday, November 19, 2008 22:28
my sister is going ocip later. i think we have to reach the airport by 4am. looking at my condition, i don't know whether i'm feeling fine to go with her. it's going to be another long 2 weeks that she's not at home.
someone please tell me what's wrong with me. first, it's my stomach. now i have this fear inside me that causes my whole body to work up and makes my breathing difficult. and all the tests show that i'm alright.
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hyperventilation ; Tuesday, November 18, 2008 21:11
i'm supposed to be happy because there's no 9am h&t lecture today. instead, my morning was filled with work.
i thought i had finished orgcom the previous night, only to realise during the lesson that i didn't draw the communication map. done itech assignment and did half the quiz. realised that i couldn't continue because i had minimal knowledge in my head.
anyway, my day started off badly. i had a fainting spell in bus service 15 today on my way to school. for a moment, i thought i was going to faint.
during itech lecture, i felt dizzy, heart palpitation, heavy breathing and my body was getting numb. felt better after the lesson.
everything was fine until itech quiz. felt my heart palpitate faster. tried to relaz and do again, but it got worse. decided to stop the quiz and call my father.
went to ttsh a&e. as usual, the tests showed that i'm fine. the doctor said could be due to anxiety or hyperventilation. i feel that i'm very tensed also. okayy, i've got to relax more.
and it's easier said than done. :(
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happy birthday! ((:, 4 years on ; Sunday, November 16, 2008 18:44
what can i say..
happy birthday jx!! four years on and no matter how vague it is, you're still in my memory. ((:
we chose different paths and never regretted them. sadly things didn't turn out as how i want them to be, but that's life. things NEVER go your way.
ps. i immensely hate public blogs.
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; Saturday, November 15, 2008 12:55
i finally understand how tedious it was for connie to teach me how to create my own blog on a humid night four years ago.
present day now, i'm going through the same thing. teaching someone how to do something online isn't really ideal. but i'll try. (:
i've attended every training session last week for the first time in, months?
went to ttsh for my eye checkup yesterday. was suspected to have keratoconnus but they couldn't detect it. so i'll have to go back again in one year's time.
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arsenal win! ; Saturday, November 08, 2008 23:09
i woke up at 0715 on a saturday morning, which resulted in me taking an evening nap. another record was me going to town on a weekend night for the first time in three years?
went with my sister to suntec city. was supposed to reach home by 9 because i wanted to watch arsenal and manchester united play at the emirates. we walked a round the basement, before settling for fish&co. you don't need to remind me that i already have that at amkhub.
waited 10 minutes for a seat and 20 minutes for the food to come. by the time we ate finish, it was 2105. happened to check the price of the sweets also. $60 per kg. shall drop by amkhub one day to make a purchase.
most of the shops were closed by then. strolled briskly because i was VERY full. my sister bought something from fox. went over to raffles city after that because they usually have late-night shopping on days OTHER THAN TODAY.
rekindled some memories. thought about this. no matter what has happened, you're still my friend. if i ever see you on the street, i'll still say, "hi".
crossed over to the peninsular excelsior hotel to meet my parents. there were there for an indian dinner. got a lift home.
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sports update:
arsenal 2(nasri 22, 48)
man utd 1(rafael 90)
final.
thanks to gerald and weiling for the updates. i made it to my void deck only to receive a message from gerald to tell me that the match has ended. :(
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; Friday, November 07, 2008 17:12
in a blink of the eye, the third week of the new school term is already over. seriously, that's fast. projects are starting one by one. and the friday-free day determines how well you can plan your time.
i went to see doctor chua for the fifth time in two months yesterday. weiliang accompanied me as usual. it's better having company, although i can continue reading my, "the curious incident of the dog in the night-time". finally managed to find the book in the library.
twenty days of continuous medication. another twenty days without consuming diary products. minimising the amount of chilli intake also. plus, i need to do relaxation activities. the doctor said i'm too stressed.
went to the gym this morning. i wonder does that give you stress?
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; Tuesday, November 04, 2008 23:30
i want to do chair! because i think i'll master that before successfully doing a toss-to-hand. anyway, it'll only start when my stomach feels better.
i've htb research to be done and shown to my group tomorrow, but i haven't touched it yet. come to think of it, htb doesn't sound as easy as it seems.
tomorrow shall be the first day that i can reach home before the sky turns dark. lesson ends at 4, so i should be home by 6. yay!
dbsm presentation on thursday. apart from my zero knowledge of the subject, i'll be reading straight from the lecture notes. and it's the first lesson. something i'm not looking forward to.
i like thursday's schedule. end school at 6, cab home to consult my doctor, go back to school to get my demographic measurements taken, and i'll probably eat dinner before going back home again.
of all days to be important, it has to be one that i really can't make it.
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korean super reds will win the singaporean league this year.
and if arsenal still don't want to buy any players in the january transfer window, not only will they risk losing their current senior players, but i can also see them aiming a top 10 finish this season.
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the SCOPE results ; Saturday, November 01, 2008 17:36
i was supposed to leave my house at 0800, but ended up waking up at 0750. luckily my father fetched my mother and i to bishan mrt station.
cairnhill place is directly behind the heeren, something i didn't really notice. the company is called nyam endoscopy pte ltd.
waited 2 hours, for a process which lasted 15 minutes. they numbed my mouth and throat twice. it's very uncomfortable. imagine you can't swallow your saliva without the fear of choking. and the sedative is very very effective. they inject you, and you fall asleep within a minute.
there's pictures, but i don't think i want to post because i don't think anyone in the right mind would want to see them.
anyway, this is the esophagogastroduodenoscopy report. and that word is real. i didn't fake it out myself.
esophagus - normal
fundus - normal
cardia - normal
body - bile reflux
antrum - gastritis
incisura - gastritis
helicobacter pylori status (hp-fast urease test): negative
i doubt anyone really knows those terms, unless you study nursing or medicine.
i'm going to get my medication either tomorrow or monday morning. otherwise, it's going to be wednesday or thursday evening again. and regular meals. people, you're going to see me bringing bread to school again. (:
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