love.

2011-05-01T23:39:00.003+08:00

moving to livejournal.

i'll post the link when i have finished doing up the template. (:

2011-04-08T17:01:00.002+08:00

yayy my blog feels so dead! ohwells i think i've given up the drive to update it regularly already.

and i just read the targets on the blazers blog. andand i think that i would fail it miserably. seriously, how much do you want someone to improve within a month. even if the person gyms everyday, you don't see improvements overnight.

so, goodluck to those having to be tested. jiayou.

wildcards training and tryouts

2011-03-27T09:32:00.002+08:00

i skipped blazers sentosa outing to go to wildcards training and tryouts yesterday. and i have no idea why i did that, although i have no regrets going there.

as expected, their standard is very high. and not using my injured shoulder as an excuse, i know that my standard isn't there yet. my skills as a base felt rusty, though i appreciated the praise that i received for my backspot skills. THANKS! (:

anyway, i concluded that I NEED TO GYM MORE. or rather, I NEED TO START HITTING THE GYM SOON.

it's either gym on monday or going to coach's place. HMM..

going to school to see their training on tuesday. wondering how shag would their pt make me.

wed SHOULD BE GOING TO THE GYM.

thurs. may be going to school for workshop and friday it's GYM AGAIN.

well, hopefully.

-
anyway, BAS.

2nd sncc 2011

2011-03-21T11:34:00.002+08:00

it's over. it really is.

thank you tpblazers for the wonderful three years that i've spent together with everyone of you. i really thought that last year would be my last but we i got a stay-out vocation in army and we thought of participating in the group stunts category so POOF! i was back for another year!

the seniors have graduated, and i feel that i have graduated again with them. once again, i feel lost. am i going to continue cheering, and if i do, where will i go? how will i convince myself to train with another team with totally new team mates? and yes, i know that i'm not new to these questions. i felt this way last year and i stayed on for another year but this time i know, i will move on. it's a hard feeling. so many wonderful team mates. each and every one of you.

three years. whatever history and hatred would finally be buried and never to be dug out again. isn't that good? it's a brand new start. who wants to remember the unhappiness anyway.

coach akane has decided to stop coaching tpblazers. i guess that would be a blow, definitely. coach had been a motivating and driving spirit to us throughout the past two years. and this would mean a new coach would be coming in. who is he and what are we going to expect?

congratulations to the new committee! captain aloyscious, vice-captain weikee, secretary jasmine and qm daniel. the team has been entrusted into your hands. i cannot tell you how to lead a team. you have to experience it yourself and go along with the flow. make friends, not enemies. and lastly, strive towards a common goal.

tpblazers. i really wanted to join another team last year but i couldn't bear to let myself go. and i guess, i would be stronger this year. i will move on, but i won't forget my roots. if anyone needs any help, feel free to ask me to come back and teach. and of course, i'd come back to visit the team as well!

andireallyloveblazers(:

losing faith

2011-03-13T01:16:00.002+08:00

i remember when paul came and asked me what i felt about the current nationals team and their progress a few days back, i told him that though this year is a bit slower in progress, i have confidence in my team.

after today's training, and what i've thought about and reflected, i think i have lost all my hope, confidence and faith. and i begin to wonder whether it is even worth it to asu, at the cost of everything.

RULES OF CHEERLEADING. i don't know how long will the confidence level last in the flyers. i don't even know if they can trust the bases to catch them when they want to execute a stunt to perfection.

when a stunt falls, everyone just spam their excuses and reasons. what is this. how many times have we seen this nonsense and repeated it over and over again. SAFETY SHOULD BE THE NUMBER ONE PRIORITY.

and what's with that fucked up attitude. i don't see a drop of remorse in you. i don't even think that you're fit to be a base.

dream high

2011-03-04T12:43:00.003+08:00

i finished watching all 16 episodes of dream high! it's a really nice and touching show. and it's been quite awhile since i last watched a drama.

i think watching the show now came at a very good timing. it really gave me inspiration for nationals. (:

although i'm on forced leave today, i think it feels quite good because i haven't been sleeping well since they cheated me of my half day off after my atp on monday. today kinda makes up my sunday duty, which feels sucky.

15 days left to nationals. we have a winning routine, we will execute it to purrfection and we will rock the stage. JIAYOU BLAZERS! DON'T BE A SS.

2011-02-27T00:48:00.001+08:00

it's amazing how people can reply tweets and not reply your text, isn't it?

last day of cny

2011-02-18T00:23:00.003+08:00

i missed eating dinner together with my family for the last day of cny to go for training. talk about commitment. and i'm rewarded with a cold war.

apparently it appears to me that you only make your presence to stick with her, and for that, i shall not attempt to compete with you. if that's your motive then go ahead.

reality sucks but if you can't beat them, join them!

if only you ever knew how i felt.

2011-02-08T00:15:00.003+08:00

it's only your first year and you're feeling so sian of the team already.

do you know how many times i really wanted to quit?
do you know how many times i walked out of training?
do you know how many times i wished that i never wanted to go back again?

there are people everywhere telling me to stay, to be optimistic and to push the team together again. and though i know that my mind's set and it isn't possible to do so anymore, i'm still here now, standing before the team.

it's coming to three long years being to a blazerian. if a junior feels sucky, do you know how many times worse a senior would feel?

do you know how much i regret my choice to let go of the team once i knew i was enlisting last year because i couldn't bear to think of all of you in camp every night? and i know that was a very bad mistake and i can't turn back the clock.

do you know that i was asked to join another team countless times and i told them that i want to stay for my team till this nationals?

and now i start to wonder whether i've made the wrong decision to stay.

how many of you actually listen and remember anything that i say. everything that i say to you is a joke, isn't it?

CNY EVE!

2011-02-02T11:14:00.002+08:00

i'm sorry that my blog is very boring because i'm just pure lazy to upload photos.

anyway, it's cny eve today though it doesn't feel like it. must be because of ns. it makes everyday feel so normal.

SS3 SINGAPORE

2011-01-30T01:46:00.002+08:00

SS3. HELLO SUPER JUNIOR!

went to watch my first kpop concert at the sis with fiona, melo, terence and kkimyong.

and our schedule today was horrible because we literally rushed after training in the morning to get the tickets and back home and out again and we were LATE. but they didn't start on time anyway so we were considered EARLY!

i think i should invest in a proper camera because i think that the pictures i took with my 3gs are quite sucky, ALTHOUGH WE WERE SEATED QUITE CLOSELY TO THE STAGE.

i guess, it's really a different feeling from watching a live performance in front of you than watching a "live performance" on youtube. although kkimyong was going deaf.

LALALA WHAT'S THE NEXT ONE COMING? (:

cny shopping part 1

2011-01-23T18:18:00.002+08:00

part one of elmo shopping.

my agenda was to find a pair of jeans, a pair of shoes, and an optional belt and shirt. walked around bugis junction and illuma, only to find that i don't have jeans my size or length. THIS SHOWS THAT TALL PEOPLE SHOULDN'T WEAR JEANS. tell that to my army camp.

shoes. i really have no idea what type of shoes to buy. went to everlast but none of the designs caught my attention, which is sucky. i have less than 2 weeks to the chinese new year and i haven't bought anything.

and i haven't gymed at all this week to make things worse. which means, my monday, wednesday and friday would be reserved for gym. WHICH MEANS, I NEED TO SHOP AND FIND SOMETHING BY THE NEXT WEEKEND. DIEDIEDIE.

who wants to shop for me?

blazers party!

2011-01-23T01:13:00.000+08:00

thanks to those juniors who organised the blazers party today! (:

it was my second bbq in 2 days at the opposite ends of pasar ris park but i didn't care!

the process of organising an event isn't easy and there are bound to have many problems.

i'm sorry that i didn't read the description carefully and assumed that we could reach anytime between 1500-2200. for that, i apologize.

all of you really tried and put in the effort. and i want to name names but i don't know if i know all of you so in case i miss out any, i shan't name anyone first!

pictures, later!

2011-01-15T16:09:00.001+08:00

i love cheerleading.

but i don't know if i can say the same for blazers, after what's become of it now.

end of leave period

2011-01-03T10:02:00.002+08:00

3jan2011.
it's a new year already.

i guess, i've been really happy the past two weeks. i got to return to my previous life for awhile, ate poly food and did everything i want freely, and i've been really really happy.

and it's not that i'm upset that i need to go back to camp tomorrow. if the holiday is too long, i'll probably slack off and take things for granted, and the previous six months that i've spent adjusting to army life would be wasted. so i'm actually looking forward to going back tomorrow.

thankyou blazers, and everyone else who have made the past two weeks SO FUN! <3

reflections of 2010

2011-01-01T04:53:00.004+08:00

2010 has been a really rough year for me. i graduated from tp and enlisted into a new life.

the key events would be firstly, my second and last nationals representing tpblazers at the national cheerleading championships 2010 at the singapore expo. what made me cry after our performance was not because we didn't win anything, but rather the effort, time, pain and blood we shed together throughout my past two years. you've really changed my life. even going back for training after i've graduated doesn't give me the same, homely feeling as it did before.

secondly, my graduation. three long but memorable years in temasek polytechnic had ended for me. i've graduated with a diploma. it's ironic that when you're in school, you'll keep complaining about how much it sucked but when you're out of it into the world outside, you'll realise how fun that studying actually is. and till now, i still miss that feeling. i miss sleeping in the engine concourse and slacking at my favourite block 11 while waiting for each other. and the really nice friends and lecturers that i've made, you guys are the best! (:

thirdly, my enlistment. one day after i had attended my graduation ceremony and received my diploma, i received my enlistment letter telling me that i would be enlisted a month later. i was in shock and disbelief and i had absolutely no time to prepare at all. at that time, i was still happily working in fish&co. and poof! just like that, 260610 came. a day before i enlisted. i was serving my last day as a cheerleader at the monster workshop in punggol. the next day, i was carrying my bags with my family and going to pulau tekong. i still remember how emotional and reluctant i was. but alas, six months have passed already.

next, i passed out from bmt. and that was then i realised how much i missed it. how much fun there actually was in there. my posting was to oeti. WTF I'M GOING TO BE A MECHANIC? that was pretty much how much i felt when i first saw the paper. i wanted to ooc but i didn't. a new life was born in arc for a month, before we reluctantly had to clear everything and move to a brand new kranji camp iii. and two months later, we graduated from oeti. THIS BIG THANK YOU IS FOR ALL THE STK INSTRUCTORS WHO HAD BEEN VERY NICE TO US THROUGHOUT OUR COURSE! (:

finally, i got posted to my unit. hq cbre dg. seletar camp. OR SELARANG. i still hope it's seletar though. and i met my secondary school friend, wei jie, there. although only four of us from oeti got posted there, the mechanics there quickly accommodated us into the place!

many other crucial things have happened to me throughout the past year. blazers. all of you have positively affected me directly or indirectly, something that i really cherish. <3

-
a picture i took just now.

nice, isn't it? (:

igotbackmyleave!

2010-12-28T14:22:00.004+08:00

i'll update my CHRISTMAS WITH BLAZERS once i get the photos, because words can't describe everything that i want to say!

on a side note, i went to camp today and found out that the unit induction course has been CANCELLED. i wasted a morning and i got back my next two days off.

-
there's LESS THAN three months to nationals.

i'm not directing this at anybody or everybody, but i don't see any effort being put in during training. if i'm rushing to training after a long day in camp before that and i realise that i'm wasting my time, then i wouldn't bother going down at all.

i don't care if you fuck care the committee. how many of you actually give me any respect? i felt like i was talking to the wall yesterday. so be it. if i'm not needed in training then i won't be there. mark my words.

2010-12-22T17:15:00.002+08:00

during the first day of my supposedly 2-week leave, i got a call from my unit to inform me that my leave would be cut to one week because we had to go back from tuesday to thursday next week for a 3-day unit induction programme.

the feeling sucked after i hung up the phone. and when i chilled after awhile, i realised that it wasn't too bad. after all, staying at home on days without training is spent staring hours at the computer. i can't really meet anyone because everyone else is at camp.

anyway, i think i should tape my wrists at every training before it breaks. and i abandoned gym today because. i just kept giving myself excuses.

this sucks.

LEAVE! (:

2010-12-21T01:38:00.002+08:00

yayy i'm on leave from today till next thursday! feels so good to get a little bit of freedom back. sleeping late, slacking and enjoying life. (:

-
three more months to nationals. none of you fucking care. why should i bother myself so much, to go down for every training even though i wake up at 5am every morning to go to camp.

becoming top 2 is like singapore's 2010 world cup dream. people coming training to lie around and talk more than you stunt. and if you want to give me the ck-attitude then i'm fucking done with you. it doesn't benefit me to go and teach any one of you.

on a side note, i decided to put whatever differences with ck away and give it a fresh start. although i think occasional shootings are still quite fun.

2010-12-15T22:23:00.003+08:00

cheerleading has become more of a recreational sport for me now, isn't it. no one bothers to tell me anything and i'm just there for the standard training.

maybe it's really time for me to leave now and join an outside team. or somewhere that really bothers. i think the team can be compared directly to army like how they treat me.

nice. just great.

HQ CBRE DG

2010-12-10T14:33:00.002+08:00

i've been posted to cbre at seletar camp.

the plus points are:
1. it is a stay-out unit
2. it is quite near to my house
3. we can wear cv to book in and out, which makes things more convenient now

the minus points are:
1. we have to sign in by 0700, which means that i've to take the first 86 at 0600 DAILY TILL I ORD.
2. 2/4 of us would be posted to selerang camp, and i do not wish to go there.

and there are many other points but i can't post them so you've to ask me.

anyway, this december would be quite slacky because we have to clear our leaves, which explain why i'm able to blog now.

POC from OETI, BTT 41

2010-12-07T18:23:00.001+08:00

it's my second poc of my army life, and i cry everytime. maybe i'm being too emotional because no one else really cries.

just like in tekong, i miss my stk instructors as much as i missed my sergeants back then. 3 months. 3 months in oeti have passed just like that. from the time in arc when i was whining and complaining what was i as an auto-technician, to the moving to kranji camp 3 and finally passing out now.

i would like to thank my dearest stk instructors being:
MR WINSTON FOO, MR HERMAN, MR PATRICK, MR HENRY and MR ONG, not forgetting MR HO AND MR THOMAS from my platoon!

all of you really helped me adapt well into oeti. (:

alas, a new chapter is starting tomorrow. i'd be posted to hq cbre in seletar camp without my tekong buddy for the past 5 months in the army. though you're quite gay at times, i guess you've been a really good buddy. not like the other horrible ones I've seen. thanks again.

i don't know what to expect tomorrow. but that's army. we'll just take whatever that comes and accept it. and i really want to stay out. let's just see tomorrow kays. stop thinking too much, favian.

standchart 2010

2010-12-05T15:24:00.002+08:00

i practically spent this whole weekend with blazers and i don't mind at all. seriously, they're the only people i want to spend my precious weekend with.

spent saturday in school watching them do the props for today's standard chartered marathon CHEERING. slept just two hours this morning and i'm still awake now.

though i still prefer and think that doing a routine is more fun. cheering is fine, but it gets tiring just by shouting.

and it's back to reality tomorrow. back to camp with the 8km run in the morning. and i'm going to get posted on tuesday. still keeping my fingers crossed that i'll get a stayout unit because i would really miss cheer. :(

cabcabcab!

2010-12-02T23:42:00.002+08:00

1. i overslept and woke up at 0645 this morning. i was supposed to report to camp by 0740. cost of cab: $18.65

2. 4 lucky people from the two platoons got posted to a special unit. i have no idea where and what it is but all i want is a stayout unit.

3. i waited 22 minutes for the 969 and it didn't come. it was 1900 by then and i was still in yishun. i was so pissed that i took a cab to school. cost of cab: $20.80

4. routine cab home after training: $20--

i just demonstrated how do you spend close to $60 a day on CAB FARE. i was still thinking last night that i have $77 to spend until next wednesday when i get my pay, only to realise that after today's spending, i only have $10 left until next wednesday. NICE.

HELLO IT'S DECEMBER ALREADY!

2010-12-01T20:58:00.002+08:00

HELLO IT'S DECEMBER ALREADY!

time really flies, looking at the time when i enlisted in june, to the time when i poc in august and now, i'm going to pop from oeti in less than a week.

not really knowing what to expect in unit life, but i know i'll definitely miss the stk instructors who taught us throughout the past two months here. seriously, they looked very strict people on the first day but we know now that they're really fun people.

so my training has officially ended yesterday, when i completed the theory and practical test of my final module.

CHRISTMAS. WHEN ARE YOU COMING? (:(:

mscc?

2010-11-28T11:18:00.003+08:00

i realised that i've lost the fitness of being a combat soldier. and if i ever go to mscc, i really need to push myself even more. just by running 8km a day, 3 times a week, and going to the gym twice a week, i find myself physically weak.

and it's sunday again, meaning that terence and gerald would book in later and it's going to be a sucky night all over.

supposed to meet ky to gym at 12 but he's not replying me so i guess i'll go and play l4d2 first and gym later.

I. NEED. TO. START. STUNTING. AGAIN.

if tues is a fully dion-day then it's thursday. no more procrastination please.

dear diary

2010-11-20T22:51:00.002+08:00

dear ~~diary~~,

a lot of randomness have happened recently. more people are going to get slashed or chainsaw-ed soon.

AND YOU, please stop making stupid assumptions and blaming everything on me. what do you really know? nothing. if you think everything is what you see then please grow up.

i know clearly what i am doing. it wouldn't even help if you send me a 20000-page message first thing in the morning. i wouldn't even care about it.

i WOULD BE wiser, and you should be too.

cheers,
me! (:

immaturity.

2010-11-17T01:20:00.002+08:00

for how many more fucking years do we have to keep to ourselves, swearing never to interact with people from the outside world due to our own selfishness and immaturity?

are you really a genius who can perform miracles, or are we going to remain stagnant at this standard for the next 10-20 years?

everyone's trying so hard, i tried to bring in people to help, and this is the shit i get. you make them not wanting to return to the team they started off cheering with. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

i don't know whether i'm proud to be from there anymore or not. i really want to just quit and disappear forever, because it doesn't make any more sense for me to stay. seriously.

KIDS

2010-11-15T16:31:00.002+08:00

i know why they make us learn the truncheon drill during our guard duty. because every small little problem would lead to a riot. kids are sensitive for no reason. every single comment would be berating you.

in simple, you're immature and childish. prove me otherwise. i'll be waiting.

that applies to army as well. the thing about serving ns with the different age gap. you've to see their childishness and think. i really want to say something. then again, they're still KIDS. maybe they HAVE to act their age.

tomorrow. i don't know if i'll have time for the team. if i need to talk to coach, i would.

ARGH. IF ONLY MONEY CAME IN AS FREELY AS THE PROBLEMS.

IPPT SILVER! FREE $100.

2010-11-13T17:26:00.002+08:00

thursday.

I GOT SILVER FOR MY IPPT AND I AM SO HAPPY! despite them only telling me 14 hours in advance. totally no time to train up at all. it's good to know that i still maintain SOME fitness.

guard duty after that. nice. i over-exerted myself during the 2.4km run and i still had duty that night.

AND THANKS TO THE 2 PEOPLE WHO WENT TO SLEEP DURING YOUR PROWLING. THANKS BECAUSE YOU RUINED MY GUARD REST TOTALLY.

-
it's nice to know that my tth cui. and no excuses for myself. ippt and guard duties aren't an excuse. i just didn't train enough.

tuesday. it's coming.

203 hitman reborn! done

2010-11-08T22:05:00.002+08:00

i've finished watching all 203 episodes of kateikyoushi hitman reborn!. thanks to natasha for introducing it to me..ages ago! (:

yeah, it's really a nice anime, and the longest one i've ever watched. kinda touched by the ending.

now i need to find another anime to watch. anyone has anything to recommend?

useless.

2010-11-06T18:30:00.002+08:00

you know how influential you are in the team when you tell them not to do something today, and they do it again the next day.

THANKS FOR TELLING ME THAT NOTHING I SAY MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU GUYS. I SHALL NOT COMMENT OR SAY ANYTHING ELSE IN TRAINING.

and after today, i've lost faith in saturday's training. if i'm the captain, i'd just abolish it. it's a TRAINING, not a GATHERING OR A PICNIC. what's the point. you're just wasting everyone's time.

i COULD HAVE done a lot of other things, but i prioritized training and this is the shit that i get. finee. from next saturday onwards, if i have other commitments, i would just forgo training.

i don't deny that everyone should have fun. in fact, you should. and i know that you all are nice people. but there are times to be serious, and it's 4 months left to nationals. i guess no one sees the importance for every training you go to.

WHO IS MOTIVATED ENOUGH TO TELL ME THAT AT EVERY OUTING THAT YOU GO TO, YOU'LL FEEL MOTIVATED TO STUNT. sadly, no one. because i don't even see that in training. not even when coach is around.

DEEPAVALI WEEKEND!

2010-11-05T01:04:00.002+08:00

THANK YOU DEEPAVALI FOR THE LONG WEEKEND!

the last long weekend i had was during bmt after my field camp.

exactly a month left in oeti. somehow, i feel that i'd miss all the instructors and the place there. somehow, going to a parent unit doesn't seem as exciting anymore. somehow, many things happen.

i know that i desperately need to gym and i want to gym tomorrow but my whole body is aching from my fever. so much that i want to just not care about my fever and just head to the gym. serious.

falling sick is never as excuse not to train. to me.

i shall update again this weekend. damn sleepy now. bye people!

self-declared: world engineering day

2010-11-01T21:53:00.002+08:00

TODAY IS AN ENGINEERING DAY BECAUSE IT'S 011110!

you know why? because it's binary numbers! (:

2010-10-26T23:47:00.002+08:00

terence is going for his urban ops tomorrow. YOU'RE GONNA SPAM YOUR BLANKS UNTIL YOU FEEL DAMN GOOD. unless you think of the hard times of cleaning your rifle after that.

thrash-out session today was....okayy? though i still think that it shouldn't be held during normal training hours. then again, i'm not in any position to make decisions anymore. i can say a lot of things but i chose not to because i belong to the alumni, and i shouldn't step in unless i really need to.

i think i'm heavily diverting from my goal. two more trainings to the end of the month and what have i achieved. isn't it all nato? everything's going back to square one. i don't have the discipline.

-
going back to arc tomorrow to clean up the place after the contractors have shifted everything to kranji. yeah. that's army. whatever shit there is, you've to do it. gonna leave my house at 0615 tomorrow. i hope i won't be late. seriously.

and i thought that tomorrow is a really good time to rso, since there are no lessons to rt and since i'm not really recovering.

oh wells.

cheer = my life.

2010-10-24T14:42:00.002+08:00

THE MAIN REASON WHY I DON'T WANT TO STAY IN IS BECAUSE OF CHEER.

seriously,
i don't know why am i still so committed to go back to every training, even when i was having a fever and i felt like fainting, i felt that i needed to go for the training.

seriously,
even when the whole place's a mess now, and i don't want to interfere with anything because i know that almost no one would listen to me, but i'm still going back.

seriously,
i love every single one of you in blazers. (as in, not ck's version of love. you get me.)

-
comparing the pros and cons of staying-in or staying-out of camp, staying-in definitely grabs a major advantage of saving costs and time.

and then, it all goes back to cheer.

that's how much you all mean to me.

..if anyone ever reads this.

miscomm?

2010-10-23T16:16:00.002+08:00

i finally understood how everyone felt when the same thing happened to me today. i guess i've to put myself in their shoes first, before using my own opinions to make decisions in the future.

i didn't go training today and i've been feeling restless and spent half the day sleeping already. oh wells. miscommunication?

i still can't believe that they recommend us to co for everyone to stay-in next month. wtf. i hope it doesn't go through or i won't be able to attend weekday training. :(

gerald and terence only booked out today, which makes my weekend not-fun.

for some reason, the monsters workshop tonight has been cancelled.

for another reason, it's the kpop night concert at the singapore expo later!

and for the last reason, i hate the haze.

2010-10-17T12:00:00.002+08:00

so it seemed that the my recent illness and over-reliance on people made me miss the run today.

when i knew very well that i couldn've gone myself, and i knew very well that i had initially registered to go for the run myself, and i still didn't go even though i woke up at 0355 this morning.

because gerald was supposed to go with me. and he had to book in at 0820 this morning. i asked terence but he couldn't make it. and i thought, oh wells, i'll just call them and ask if i can get the goodie bag or something now that i didn't go.

FAVIAN, WHEN WILL YOU STOP GIVING EXCUSES. sucks to be me.

in the end, i woke up at 0430 to talk to gf. because apparently, he called to wake me up but i was already awake. thanks anyway. and hope you're feeling better now. (:

2010-10-16T01:15:00.002+08:00

why is it that year after year, whenever something goes wrong with the team, the captain always blame himself.

it's just a status. isn't the captain a person? shouldn't everyone be shouldering some blame instead of just one person?

and what's with the quitting part. everyone once ran away from their problems before. i ran away from mine once, but here i am, back in the team.

5ive more months to nationals. how much more do you want to selfdestruct?

juniors first performance!

2010-10-12T23:32:00.002+08:00

blazers, i watched your first juniors performance today. if you think that you guys did well, you have to set your aims higher. if you think that you didn't do your best today, you still have friday for redemption. show me the effort on thursday.

personally, i think i would rather comment during thursday's training.

anyway, i actually sat in a NEIGHBOURHOOD STADIUM IN SINGAPORE AND WATCHED AN S-LEAGUE MATCH FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY! though it wasn't really the best of matches to watch, it was still an experience.

3 more days to the weekends. no training tomorrow means there's nothing to look forward to to make time pass faster. HOW! :(

THEORY TEST ON MONDAY. I NEED TO GET A B+ AND ABOVE OR I'LL BURN MY WEEKENDS. SOMEONE JUST KILL ME. i know that i have to study really hard for it, but i don't really have much confidence in it.

HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF! ((:

2010-10-11T19:18:00.003+08:00

it's ironic that someone asked how old i am today and i almost replied, 23.

it's definitely NOT IDEAL to spend your birthday in camp. though, DO YOU KNOW HOW RELIEVED I WAS WHEN NO ONE THERE KNEW IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY TODAY? it saved me from being traumatized.

okayy. i need to go to jurong east stadium to SPOT THE JUNIOR'S FIRST PERFORMANCE. hope they release earlier so that i can change first before going down. a big NO-NO to go down there in uniform. and i guess i'll probably POOF myself after that. shouldn't go home late every night. SEE HOW NICE I AM.

and, THANKS FOR ALL THE WISHES! i really appreciate the thought. (:

101010. I LOVE BLAZERS. (:

2010-10-10T00:55:00.002+08:00

do you know why after a hard day in camp, i would rush from one end of singapore to the other just for training?

do you know why i would wake up early on the saturday morning, and use my whole day just to go down to school for training?

BECAUSE I KNOW THAT CHEER IS THE BEST DAMN THING THAT HAPPENED IN MY LIFE. AFTER A HARD DAY'S WORK, THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT I CAN TRUST AND RELY ON BELONG THERE.

everyone of you in there. are the bestest people that i've ever known. that's all i can say. (:

2010-10-09T17:35:00.001+08:00

SATURDAY TRAINING WITH LARRY IS SO MUCH MORE FUN THAN WITHOUT HIM!

otherwise, i'd just go there and rot like what i do during the weekdays.

YAYY I LIKE MY TTH. let's see. extension, close by 311010? i shall aim to that. (:

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TO MY SISTER!

2010-10-09T00:58:00.002+08:00

GUESS WHO I SAW AT THE POLYCLINIC TODAY! CHAO GENG WARRIORS!! (:

happy 19th birthday to my sister, 59 minutes ago. (:

so, lessons finally resume on monday, at kranji camp iii. i'm not looking forward to it, neither am i looking forward to the same people that i'm going to be seeing. hopefully training would be a good enough motivation to help me pass time faster. and i need to find the fastest route to school from there.

ANYONE KNOWS THE FASTEST WAY FROM YEW TEE MRT TO TP PLEASE TELL ME. (:

training tomorrow. if suhui goes then i'll do my tth. like finally, after i graduate, i manage to do it. it's been a long time coming.

OUT OUT!

2010-10-04T20:55:00.002+08:00

kranji is a NOT COMPULSORY STAY-IN camp! you won't believe how happy and relieved i was when i heard that.

don't need to stay in with gays and hearing their vulgarities all day long. although all i can do now is to suck it up. it will snow tomorrow if he stops his nonsense.

it means i can be at training on a more regular basis, which also means that if i don't improve, i can go business and jump already. and crawl to engine after that to jump again.

:(

2010-10-02T23:32:00.002+08:00

attn c for two days. who actually believes that i've been sick these two days? it just goes to show why i can't imagine myself staying-in at kranji.

i think i really need to decide if i want to continue cheering. looking at my current standard, it really doesn't show that i'm a cheerleader for three years. i successfully did 0/14 walk-to-hands today. something i used to have perfected months ago.

HOW NOW BROWN COW.

2010-09-29T22:27:00.001+08:00

FUCK YOU, UNDERSTAND.

this is not pulau tekong. don't use your vulgarities like how it was done. i swear i will ignore you. because you suck.

improvements?

2010-09-25T22:56:00.003+08:00

the turnout for today sucks. it's the holidays now and i guess it just goes to show who's really passionate about cheering, no? or do you just not sense the importance of how much all of you are lacking behind. for my first performance as a junior, we did stable elevator extensions. now, it's still the basics and the foundation isn't there yet.

i only have 2 more weeks of weekday trainings to go. and i think that i should talk more to help but i really don't know where to start. there's no difference before i enlisted and now. whatever the seniors repeat again and again, it's still happening now.

i know that i should be more optimistic. and yes, those who came today, i saw the progress. btoss backtuck. x-out. you all are doing fine. just put in the extra effort to train harder and you'll see the results soon. don't think too much about injuring the bases. that's what they're there for.

initially i wanted to blog this in the team blog but i guess that i should not demoralise any of you. so if you happen to come across this then, good or bad for you. you make all the decisions.

ps. my walk-to-hands and extension sucked today. seriously. i need to practise more. it goes to show that going to the gym often doesn't make you stronger in cheer. you need the technique and practise.

FUCKK

2010-09-19T09:35:00.004+08:00

i'm not stereotyping jc people. but after last night's encounter, i think that JUST THAT ONE GUY, sucks.

who the fuck asks you if you have a girlfriend, then read out how long you spent together matter-of-fact like a book. seriously.

and you don't have to ask me every single bit of my life. i like to be fucking anti-social when i prowl with you and if you're not happy then just fuck off. cheerleading is not something that people like you are fit to talk about.

i think you're an insult to kpop. you claim you're so into snsd. you can only sing the first line of, 2 songs? and that's all. kpop = snsd. nothing else. nice.

i feel plagued. first i get a gay and now i get an irritating fucker.

pardon my profanities, but after spending 22 hours TOGETHER, i couldn't keep it anymore.

2010-09-17T22:01:00.000+08:00

FULL DAY GUARD DUTY TOMORROW.

those five words say it all. 0730-0730. literally burnt half my weekend.

RSO

2010-09-13T13:29:00.003+08:00

so i really did it. i rso today. and i guess that's how my army life goes so far. plagued by sickness. all because cmpb refuses to give me a c9l9. i don't know how long this would go on.

lessons started today. and from what i heard, it sucks. oh wells. i shall go and copy notes firsthand tomorrow and find out myself.

training officially starts next tuesday. i swear i can't wait to get back. all the stay-out and going home early is making me bored. sad thing is, terence is in tekong. oh wells.

xianlong, davin, gerald and kahau enlisted today.

davin said he's in whisky and gerald is from raven. haven't heard from the other two yet. hopefully maybe, they'll be in the same company. all the best! (:

2010-09-12T13:46:00.003+08:00

GERALD AND XIANLONG WILL BE ENLISTING TOMORROW. suddenly, the idea of stay-in doesn't feel so bad. after all, i don't really have anyone to meet on weekdays anymore. everyone's either in tekong, or cheer. which is too unpredictable and far for me.

i don't know what everyone's thinking anymore. and neither do i have anymore influence on anyone. which means, i'm left with memories of my past three years. i can't do anything now.

right now, i'm wondering. what am i going to do with all the free time i have. on a normal occasion, i'd welcome it with open arms.

letters.

2010-09-10T21:12:00.002+08:00

i was packing my personal drawer and i came upon three letters that i've kept there for memory.

the first being, a letter written to me more than 5 years ago. though i was reluctant to open and read it, i still did. and it did bring back vague memories of whatever i went through. the skeleton in my closet. yeah, i was childish and immatured then. my only regret was that i failed to keep you as my friend.

the second was by larry, the letter he wrote to me before his enlistment last year.

and the third was by suhui, the letter she wrote before i enlisted this june.

i guess after reading those two letters, and so much of my thinking that i want to progress to another team to improve my cheerleading skills, lead me back to think about growing up in blazers. the real past two years of cheering in the team and how much we cherished each other.

the passion in me is burning with the desire to improve. then again, i miss blazers dearly. it lead me to be caught in two minds now. dilemma.

bye jol. (:

2010-09-06T23:37:00.003+08:00

13 hours ago, while i was wasting my time in camp. you were at the airport. and you just left..like that. without knowing if you were ever coming back to singapore.

and i didn't leave the best impression of myself with you. i always do stupid things and i just killed everything with that stupid action. and i'm regretting now but what's the point?

the last time i saw you was..more than a year ago. and i probably won't see you ever again. my only regret is, i guess i never got to stunt with you. whatever we were planning was all ruined by myself.

it's nice knowing you as a friend. and it's nicer to know that we did have some wonderful times together. (:

life sucks. but life goes on.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELO!

2010-09-05T23:09:00.004+08:00

stay-out equals more regular updates! well, i'd try. (:

i FINALLY finished watching the 4 series of bring it on today. (:

i FINALLY updated my l4d2 to the current version and i still reiterate my point that most people who play the game in garena have minimal standard. comparing to the times when i play before i enlisted and now, i don't see any difference. the sucky thing is, the maximum hunter damage is 25. which, can't cause severe damage. :(

i've added 3 movies to my desktop! catch me if you can, the kite runner and the exorcist. though i'll probably only have time to watch it next weekend.

OKAYY. WORK OFFICIALLY STARTS TOMORROW. THERE ARE GOING TO BE LESSONS AND I'VE TO STAY AWAKE DURING LECTURES AND STUDY AFTER THAT. thinking back now, i prefer poly. at least the people there are more fun.

army buddies are so fake. you only see them at work and they only talk to you at work. after that, they just disappear from your life. WHICH I DON'T REALLY CARE ANYWAY. i'm rather happy with the current people i'm mixing with. (:

on a last note,
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY MELO! haven't reached the 2 in front of your age yet. zz. :(

2010-09-02T21:01:00.002+08:00

IT'S SEPTEMBER ALREADY! (:

tgif tomorrow. for some reason, i've been really tired today. practically falling asleep in every lecture and luckily i didn't get caught for anything. tomorrow is actually going to be a good day because we're doing "ICE BREAKING AND TEAM BONDING" for the whole day. which, is slack.

gym with gerald after that and probably going to meet weiliang for fun!

terence. happy one week anniversary in pulau tekong. faster bookout next thursday! (:

from what i heard from my iwf instructor today, i'll most probably be posted to jurong camp 2 after my 3-month vocational training. and it'll most probably be stay-out because technicians aren't required to stay in camp. am i supposed to feel happy?

day 2 in oeti

2010-08-31T20:20:00.002+08:00

two long days in ayer rajah camp have passed. oeti. i'm still wondering why they posted me there. although i must say after the cheena's talk today, it did give me a LITTLE motivation to study hard for it. though i think, it's still at the negligible level.

we're going to have a morning run tomorrow. it sucks i know. because we'll probably have to change back to our smart no.4 after that and we don't get to bathe because it's a stay-out camp. THOUGH I STILL LIKE STAY-OUT VERY VERY MUCH.

and we're going to have to start assigning ourselves our guard duty roles. i want to do on a weekday so it won't burn my precious weekend.

at least two weeks without training. i just backed out from gym because i was lazy and i opted to do pushups at home instead. crap. i just mastered 20kg shoulder press and i'm not practising at the gym. no. i know i'll definitely go this friday but. i don't know. just don't have the discipline anymore. must be army.

TERENCE FASTER BOOK OUT! you know, i really wished that we were in the same camp, same company, same platoon and same section. then i wouldn't mind going through 17-weeks of bmt because it would be so much more fun. oh wells.

POC!

2010-08-28T21:26:00.003+08:00

i officially passed out from pulau tekong's bmtc 4 yesterday morning! no more taking the ferry back there on sunday nights and taking the 5-tonner to rocky hill camp.

although i must say, i somehow miss the camp. i miss everything we did there. all the shit we got ourselves into. the past 9 weeks have been challenging. despite being in pes b2, we were treated like combat-fit soldiers.

i guess my sergeants and platoon commander have been rather nice people, judging from what my classmates told me about them. thanks for the welfare and the knowledge you've imparted to me. (:

PLATOON COMMANDER: 2LT VINCENT AND BENJAMIN
PLATOON SERGEANT: 3SG JIMSON TAY
SECTION COMMANDERS: 3SG QI JIAN, 3SG IRWAN AND 3SG WILLIE TAY

and not forgetting my section mates. the crazy and noisy people. and all the stupid things we've done together. too bad there aren't any photos to reflect them.

rule them all, VIKINGS!
6th coy, 03/10.

6 days to poc

2010-08-21T02:13:00.001+08:00

6ix more days to poc. which means it's a rather redundant last week in camp following my book in on sunday night. hope i get posted to a slack unit.

I SUDDENLY HAVE THE URGE TO CONTINUE CHEERING. I WANT TO STUNT. I WANT TO DO SO MANY THINGS. I WANT TO ACHIEVE MY LIB AGAIN.

12 days to poc

2010-08-15T01:47:00.002+08:00

the feeling of confinement sucks. anyone reading this and is going to enlist or currently serving ns now, DO NOT get confined or you'll regret, seriously. i already don't like the fact that i only get 27 hours of civilian life this weekend.

i can't watch arsenal and liverpool match because they play at 2230 and i book in at 2040. tekong. sucks.

12 more days to poc. actually i think once i've cleared this week, i'll be fine.

monday - range
tuesday - probably ippt
wednesday - 12km road march

and that's the end of all the key events of bmt.

MONSTERS

2010-08-11T02:20:00.003+08:00

i know that i'm supposed to be sleeping, hours ago. and i should be sleeping now after playing sc with terence but i just felt tempted to blog.

today is wednesday. and it's my last bookout day before i book in early tomorrow morning.

I BOUGHT A MONSTER'S SHIRT AND PANTS FROM THEIR WORKSHOP TODAY. AWESOMENESS!

practically spent the whole day in school today and wasted a lot of time waiting but i don't think i regretted any of the time spent with my blazers peeps. truth is, they're nice people to be your friends. and i emphasize, FRIENDS. if you get my drift.

okayy i should be sleeping now. it's going to be a long day when i wake up. need to go to the polyclinic to see the doctor for my cough and get 3 referral letters, pack and fold my uniform and complete my reflection of the field camp. then, i shall decide if i should join my section for sakura dinner at night because i'm really tired now.

and i have pictures but i'm lazy to upload. so long people! (:

HAPPY 45TH BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE! (:

2010-08-09T19:45:00.003+08:00

4hours 15minutes left before my second full bookout day ends. which means i'm left with two. spent the time at home without my mother because she's in kl with her colleagues. going to school to spend time with cheermates and still considering if i should join my section mates for the outing on wednesday because i intend to eat a HOME-COOKED dinner at home.

HAPPY 45TH BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE! (:

this year, i opted not to squeeze with people to watch the fireworks. staying at home and staring at my teevee instead. one reason because no one wants to go with me! :( and another because i'm lazy, which is the main reason. no car. and lazy to walk because my legs are suffering from the field camp and i can't really wear shoes.

went to the gym this morning and i still felt it was disappointing.

TAUHUAY HERE I COME LATER!

DONE WITH FIELD CAMP WOOHOO!

2010-08-08T21:26:00.003+08:00

BOOKOUT! it feels so good, especially when i was forced to sacrifice my weekend and get confined for two weeks for a field camp. and i get to enjoy and relax a bit more with a slightly longer bookout.

booking in on thursday morning. reporting at the singapore discovery centre at 0730. which means, i have 4 FULL DAYS of rest. awesome.

i thought the programmes organised for the field camp was enjoyable. they were quite fun. however, the sucky part comes when no one bothers to cooperate. i don't even dare to say it as a company level. platoon-wise, it sucked. i want to not give a damn but i know i can't. is passing a message to the guy beside you that hard? oh wells. all kinds of people right. pushups. crunches. all day.

eating combat rations for 5 days is a NO-NO. i survived the field camp on biscuits. i think i have lost a lot of weight. hitting the gym tomorrow and going to weigh myself. please don't let me lose weight. or i can become a flyer already.

you know why i want to down pes so much? it's not because i can't take the training. it's because if i can get a non-combat vocation, i train less in camp and i get to eat more and train more myself outside camp.

my brother told me that field camp shows the true colours of people. and i guess i saw everything.

-
cheer. i feel that i'm being outcasted by my team. okayy maybe because i'm not a member in the team anymore. so they are not obliged to talk to me. and i think that if it's that way, so be it.

i have thought it through. i have actually made up my mind of my cheer future. but i want to see the vocation that i get to after passing out of tekong before declaring it. so that i can confirm i have more free time to cheer.

tpblazers. i really like the team. but i guess after i've enlisted, the feeling that all of you give me makes me feel that i don't belong to the team anymore.

yeah. sorting out my thoughts now.

field camp week.

2010-07-25T17:43:00.002+08:00

i just realised this is my 700th post for this blog. 300 more before i'll change the layout and link. but that'll be a long time later because being in ns doesn't really give me the luxury of updating my blog often. if you noticed, it's one update every ten days.

okayy. i'm booking in at 1930 which means i'm left with exactly an hour at home before heading to pasar ris and back to tekong.

weekend confinement because of the field camp meaning i would not book out on this weekend. i predict that it'd be at most 10 days confinement only, which would be easy to countdown and not look too fearsome.

the sucky part is that, i'm not allowed to bring my oreos and handphone to the field camp. means i can't text or call anyone before i sleep at night. :(

on the brighter side. after the field camp, i might get a 5-day bookout till national day. and after the field camp, i'd only be left with range because i'm confident that i'll clear my ippt this week. don't know if i can get silver though because of sbj and 2.4km run. i'll attempt to get A for pullups. yay!

lastly, don't miss me! i'm already missing blazers and tonnes of other people!! :(

first bookout!

2010-07-16T16:58:00.002+08:00

singapore air smells fresher than tekong for many reasons that if i were to name, it'd fill the whole post.

i'm officially done with the 17 days of confinement in tekong. booked out on wednesday evening and went down to training on thursday. spent my friday going to sgh for an appointment and visited the army market to get my missing torch light and silencer. gym-ed yesterday and still contemplating if i should gym today. i still prefer going to the gym compared to ns training. feels different.

in another se7en hours, friday would be over and it'd be time to book in back to tekong soon. somehow the time spent in singapore passes faster than in tekong.

went back to tp yesterday and somehow i felt. that i don't belong there anymore. i don't find my sense of belonging in blazers. the feeling just isn't there. and i wonder.

on official leave.

2010-07-02T10:15:00.003+08:00

for the benefit of those who stalk my blog, i am out of camp for today and tomorrow!, though it isn't my official bookout so i wouldn't plurk or tweet or fb anything yet.

today would be my 5th day in pulau tekong. my bunk mates are fun, which is the most important thing to make the bmt fun.

for those who wish to know, i'm in:
bmtc 4
6th coy
platoon 2 section 4.

yeah. I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY OFFICIAL BOOKOUT! I MISS BLAZERS SO SUPER MUCH! :(

last blazers training.

2010-06-25T01:11:00.002+08:00

i've officially attended my last training with tp blazers. it's been two and a half years with them. all the pain and anguish, fun and laughter, and the memories we've shared with three generations of cheerleaders, i'll always think of all of you during my next two years serving the army.

every new batch of cheerleaders bring different experiences, unique to themselves but they share the common goals.

i shouldn't have made the short 30second speech today because it made me more sad after that. but nonetheless, i said it and it already happened so no point regretting now. i really want to see that you guys have matured after 9 weeks, when things get harder and dangerous, and you give the seniors the respect that they deserve.

anyway, i'm left with the saturday senior's training and sunday's taiwan workshop. my goals for the weekend would be PARTNER STUNTING. hopefully i'll make a breakthrough somewhere to leave an impact on myself before i enlist. (:

2010-06-20T02:29:00.002+08:00

my blazers senior dinner felt like the second cold war. but it's not like i really care. i know standing on both sides is hard, and i guess i already know which side i would stand on now.

it's exactly on more week to enlistment. and i know that some things would happen beyond my control. and i guess it's up to. us? or fate. i don't know either.

NATO.

2010-06-18T00:47:00.002+08:00

i know that this is not a private blog and anyone could read whatever that's written here, but i'm still going to say this. ten more days and i'll be enlisting, it's time i get this load of things off my chest and lessen my burden.

today i learnt that we're greedy people. there is no highest position in any organisation. everyone would climb above you and assume their own authority.

today i learnt that some people would only ask you once, and they would ASSUME everything else as that's the way how things work.

today i learnt that i've to resign to the fact that i no longer hold that high position, otherwise i would be the first to oust you out.

today i learnt that the term, "NATO", describes you very well because it perfectly fits your character. you yak and yak and yak at everyone but where's the example? no, it's just illusionary.

and today, i'm resigned to knowing that i've lost to you because i no longer belong to that organisation. but one day if we were to be in the same organisation again, i'll expose you. and i'll be waiting for that day to come.

COKE AND SF.

2010-06-14T01:21:00.005+08:00

i just realised my last update was 10 days ago.

once again, blazers made me feel army will be sucky because i'll be deprived of seeing everyone. just two days of filming a coca cola commercial and hanging out make me want to steal a gun and kill everybody who stops me, just to run out.

i'm even having doubts, as how will i be able to survive in another team. yes, i don't deny that other teams will have their own types of enjoyment. but the three years i spent in tp will linger in my memory throughout my 9 weeks in tekong and the remaining 1year 8months.

-
effectively, i have no videos of our two days of performance. however, i do have a photo of my coca cola collection which i brought home to watch during the world cup.

i wanted to stack higher but it was on a glass table and i wouldn't want to know what would happen if the cans fell.

-
it was more tiring yesterday because
1. THE SUN WAS VERY SUPER DAMN FUCKING HOT
2. they were filming and we had to do more things like stunts

today was better because there wasn't any filming and i'm not saying that we weren't serious (because we give in 200% effort all the time!), but because it felt more fun! and we were smarter to take PLAIN WATER from the registration counter and hence, we drank lesser coke.

walked over to ps with 8 cans of coke in my bag to meet gerald and melo and i saw natasha. okayy. i didn't really see her because i wasn't expecting to see anyone there.

STREETFEST.

melooooo.

ashleyy.

legacy?

2010-06-04T01:53:00.002+08:00

i was talking to shaun from legacy in msn and apart from asking me to join legacy, what he told me really sent me into deep thought.

i have DO NOT HAVE A FLYER, and all i do is just gym, gym and gym. that does not technically help me to improve in cheer. in simple terms, i'll remain stagnant throughout this time.

he told me this,
"if you want to help someone to improve, you would first have to improve".

i'm gym-ing more crazily than a dragonboater, i'm consuming more protein than rice, and does it really help? NO.

which goes back to my first point of why did i initially want to join legacy. i don't make comparisons because it's a fact.

anyway, i've made my decision now. who knows what would happen in the future. in weeks or months to come, anything could happen. let's just wait and see. (:

memories of tpblazers.

2010-05-29T01:02:00.002+08:00

i was watching cheer videos in fb. those that show memories carried over from years of hard work, and i thought that since i'm enlisting soon and i've go to say goodbye to tp blazers, i became very inspired to write this post.

-
a year ago, it was like any other season.
now i look back and realize,
this is the season i will remember forever.
; yod (aces coach)

this is my third year in tpblazers. every year, people come and go. i see many new faces. we build new families after the old have left. it seems like a normal routine and everything will be memorable. but when i think that i'm enlisting at the end of next month, i suddenly treasure what i have now more than how much i did in the past two years. whatever happens now would leave the deepest impression in me, and i'd bring that into tekong to motivate me whenever i need it.

we finally found that no matter win or lose,
silver, gold or bronze or not at all,
the joy we share will always linger in our hearts.

every cheerleader says that the nationals is the biggest stage for cheerleaders in singapore to show their sweat and tears of hard work. yes, it is. however, winning a prize is not that important. it only gives you a sense of status. we may not have won anything this year, and we may not get first next year, but the sense of improvement and training that we put in will be those that leave the deepest memories. how much time we commit to train together, the quarrels we went through and survived them to make greater friendship bonds. what's being champions compared to this?

-
countdown: 30 more days.

countdown: 34 more days

2010-05-25T14:09:00.003+08:00

i don't mind enlisting and going tekong literally now. the only thing i can't put down is cheerleading. it's going to be two long years. and all the seniors would have graduated. i won't be seeing the juniors unless they come for saturday training. it's like losing touch with the whole world.

i never thought of ns to be a bad thing, whether it's modified or normal bmt. i actually longed for a normal ns life and not trying to opt for pes c or e.

-
tpblazers sentosa outing on 22 may 2010.

with the exclusions of people who left early

there are many occasions that people would like to compare us with other teams. we may not be the best and neither are our trainings the most fun YET, but all that's important is that we are one big happy family.

it's graduation already. :(

2010-05-18T02:23:00.002+08:00

how fast time flies. it's graduation already. in a few hours' time, i'm officially not a tp student anymore. and i suddenly have the nostalgic feeling when i first stepped into tp.

when you're a student, you wish you were working.
when you're working, you wished you were back in the classroom studying.
life isn't as fun when you're not in school anymore, seriously.

-
i hate going to training and getting scolded for the most nonsensical reasons.

you're a pot calling the kettle black. you say things without thinking, you self-contradict yourself unknowingly and it really make me feel that you want something else.

don't stamp your authority on me. you wouldn't like it if i were to do the same to you. if you think you're always right, GET A LIFE AND SUCK IT UP.

dreams

2010-05-12T01:03:00.003+08:00

YAY I WILL ONLY BE GETTING MY PAY ON 7 JUNE. thanks fish&co. i suddenly feel so poor now.

shoulderstand today. i should start attempting to fly the juniors from thursday and refresh myself.

gym tomorrow. can't even do a proper unassisted extension. i sometimes wonder if lib would be a reality or just a dream from the effort that i put in.

fuck my work

2010-05-08T02:03:00.003+08:00

fuck my work. i want to be nice and help out, pushing my body to it's limits, working a full shift after legs conditioning and you exploit me over and over again.

no more being mr nice guy at work. I WILL NOT EXTEND TO WORK A FULL SHIFT TO HELP FOR SHORTAGE OF STAFF ANYMORE. no one keeps to what they say. after a long day of work, all i get is a, "thank you" WHILE TALKING TO YOUR NOTES. fuck it.

you run to my station, hide in the corner and use your fucking phone during work and when i go there, you demand that i go back to my station. HELLO FUCK YOU ARE SLACKING AT MY STATION I WAS JUST COVERING FOR YOU. i reply your question nicely and you give me a fucking, "WHAT?!".

"look, i know you, you and you end at 10 but if you leave now, we would have to slog until 12 midnight. so why not you all stay back and help each other so we can leave earlier together?"

normally, that would sound perfectly fine. during that circumstances, someone was working with an injured knee, someone was slogging a full shift with aching legs that he almost wanted to call in the morning to not report for work. and we didn't have a choice to decide. WE WERE FORCED TO STAY.

now i have to rub counterpain EVERYWHERE and hope for a miraculous recovery so i can go for training today. i couldn't walk straight when i ended work today. i have no plans to reach training punctually later. and it's not because i can't.

overworked.

2010-05-06T15:12:00.002+08:00

it's the month of may already. i've been effectively working for the past three weeks. this is my fourth.

it's true that working keeps my mind occupied and earns me some extra cash but i think i may have overworked for a PART-TIME job. i even forgot that this sunday is mother's day. fortunately i managed to clear my night schedule for that day.

i don't regret working in f&b even if the pay is significantly lower than an average job. it's a fun environment. once in awhile, you get difficult customers. those who want to take away their iced tea when we don't offer that service. i contemplated pouring her drink into an inflated balloon because she didn't believe that we couldn't do that. if fish&co is a coffeeshop then your minced meat noodles outside would cost $7.50 per bowl.

they say the fastest way to learn something is to do it hands-on. teaching me how to operate the bar counter would take time. the faster alternative is to throw me inside for a night of operations, watching me frantically flipping through the recipes on how to make each drink. fortunately no one complained about the diabetic drinks, because i found them too sweet after i've made them.

in comes cheerleading. i've been trying to balance the two and i can say that i've done a good job. literally just cheer and work. but i forgot that cheerleading requires gym. and i have practically no time for it. i've been working more full shifts lately and i haven't been to the gym for two weeks. i can see my fitness level drastically dropping.

now i realise i hardly see my parents. they are asleep when i reach home at night and they have already left for work when i wake up in the morning.

since cheerleading is indispensable to me, i should reduce my work schedule. i need more family time.

epic junior

2010-04-30T02:42:00.002+08:00

the most epic conversation:

me: err. may i know what's your weight?
junior: DO YOU KNOW IT'S VERY SENSITIVE TO ASK A GIRL FOR HER WEIGHT?
me: it's not sensitive in cheerleading.
junior: i don't care what cheerleading. it's sensitive. *face changes*
me: okayy sorry.
junior: say sorry also no use.

i think the last time i was scolded by a SENIOR was two years ago when i was a junior. i can't remember being told off by a junior. today was the first, and it'll be the last. the next junior who tells me off will not leave me shell-shocked.

-
i hope i don't oversleep for work later. not going to set my alarm because my phone's battery is flat. and i somehow want them to ask me to extend till 11, though i don't think i'd self-volunteer myself do work a full shift. i want to gym!

JUNIORS!!

2010-04-28T00:30:00.002+08:00

THE NEW JUNIORS OFFICIALLY CAME IN TODAY!, which means that i'm officially belong to tp blazers alumni or we call it ALUMUNI.

i think that i'd give myself and everyone a fresh start. no matter what i thought of whoever before today, i'll forget about it. i'll try to believe that everyone can change for the better. so don't prove me wrong.

i've decided that i'll clear my monday, tuesday, thursday and saturday for work. and i'll give them a full-shift schedule for the other three days. actually i don't like working on training days because i've to rush a lot. and with the new juniors coming in, coming late isn't setting a good example.

for some reason, the management planned me to work on thursday night. i'll tell them i can't make it. otherwise, i'd just mia. and they just ate up my labour day public holiday and sunday. THANKS SERIOUSLY.

2010-04-27T02:45:00.001+08:00

i need my leap of faith. or i'll just give up because i can't find any hope to hold on to the both of you.

the helix performance

2010-04-26T01:10:00.003+08:00

COACH I WANT MY PHOTOS! (:

good job blazers at today's performance at the helix. although the area was a little narrow, and i had to do my forward roll on the hard floor. YAY 3/4 SAME TIMING OF TOE TOUCH COMPLETION WITH TERENCE!

the fact that there were many people taking pictures somehow made us a little more nervous. but we did well. and we enjoyed ourselves. that's what is important.

i think it's a good habit to praise each other after each performance, no matter the result. what's the point of bringing up the same point over and over again. your actions make me suspect that you want to bring the team down.

AND. THANKS TO LARRY FOR COMING DOWN AND SUPPORTING US. SEE YOU SOON! (:

tau huay supper is ownage. i reckon i should start paying for part of terence's petrol usage after getting my pay. yeah i should do that.

i already have a wishlist for my first pay check:
1. ENDEARMINTS SWEET! (i think i'm addicted)
2. crumpler bag (suggest me colours!)
3. iphone (actually i'm still considering because my current plan isn't going to expire soon)

yeaps. alright. juniors coming in this week. YAYY!

EPIC TIRED.

2010-04-24T00:54:00.003+08:00

two words sum up my life now. work + training. i realised that i don't even sleep as long as i work.

i worked my first full shift today. 1-11. taxing. and i had my first irritating customer. there were five of them at the table, and i served them 4 rumekins of tartar and chilli. this woman asked me in her most sarcastic ever manner, "are we supposed to share them?" so i gave that table TEN rumekins of sauce.

tomorrow's going to be another long day. training for sunday's performance in the morning, gym with gerald after that and currently on standby for work at night from 5-11. if i work, i think i'll die at sunday's performance.

the most epic thing happened to me when i went mac from dinner at amk just now.

my handphone time read 2357. i approached the counter staff and enquired if the student meal was still available. i could see that she was staring at the counter's clock. then she walked around the kitchen, came back at 0001 and told me, "sorry, it's saturday now. the student meal isn't available on weekends."

best. i like.

WORK STRESS

2010-04-20T02:54:00.002+08:00

YEAH I'VE GRADUATED FROM MY 24 HOURS OJE AT FISH&CO! on the darker side, i need to plan my weekly schedule, which is hampered by trainings and performances. no, i'm not complaining. i wish to balance but my priority has been and always will be tp. (:

apparently i randomly planned my work schedule this week and MY SUNDAY'S WORK WILL SOMEHOW CLASH WITH MY PERFORMANCE! i understand that the managers are under pressure and are stressed to plan everyone's working schedule but if they gave me time to plan on thursday, i would have gave a clear and precise one. now i can only wonder about sunday.

training today. training tomorrow. cca recruitment drive performance on wed. training on thurs. I GAVE THEM MY FRIDAY AND AMAZINGLY THEY DIDN'T PUT ME FOR NIGHT. sat night. i'm fine with that. sunday night. oh the thought of it sucks.

i just realised i've been uttering for three paragraphs about work. i thought working was fun. actually, working in the restaurant IS fun. the after thoughts aren't. :(

I WILL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT. even if they hate me, i will perform on sunday. (:

2 PERFORMANCES IN 2 DAYS!

2010-04-16T20:36:00.002+08:00

i felt today's performance was more awesome than yesterday, though saa always makes decisions without thinking, which is super irritating.

shall wait for peektures and video to be uploaded in fb! (:

i have too many things to say and not being in the committee or the team makes it hard to convey them.

-
enough of replying "SORRY" to every conversation, or saying "SORRY", bowing to whoever, or saying "I IS".

i shall revert to speaking proper english!

juggling work

2010-04-15T01:27:00.002+08:00

i don't understand my parents. while i'm being so committed to cheer, my parents asked me to find a job. now that i'm happily working and still committed to cheer, they ask me to manage my time properly. WTF RIGHT.

working AND cheering in the same day IS TIRING. but when you enjoy what you're doing, it simply removes the tiredness.

TCC PERFORMANCE TOMORROW. i know i haven't been my best. being late for trainings due to work, oversleeping for today's training and leaving early after today's first rehearsal for work. i feel that i'm treating this performance very lightly. and seriously, i'm worried for my own part. for that i haven't practised enough. and there won't be a dry run. i hope i won't screw up.

YAY?

2010-04-10T01:25:00.002+08:00

I REALLY HOPE MY TRANSFER APPLICATION IS SUCCESSFUL! *KEEPING FINGERS CROSSED*

was down with fever on wednesday. kinda recovered already but the cough is getting worse and the sore throat is still there. i need to start my food restrictions soon.

i think it's time to make my decision regarding legacy or blazers. like, soon.

lastly, blazers enjoy your performance tomorrow! do not let your hard work go to waste. love you guys! (:

2010-04-07T00:50:00.002+08:00

i no longer have the authority to post things in the blazers blog, so i'll just do everything here. if anyone from the team happens to come across this, then good or bad for you. (:

for example, i was in-charge of the juniors group with a few seniors who are not in saturday's performance. and especially the senior guys, daniel and ck, not only do you not pay attention to what chengyee is teaching, you also give me your stupid excuses. okayy, i will not say anything in training because i'm not obliged to but don't push your limits because i'll shout at you.

WE ARE STILL YOUR SENIORS. AND YOU DON'T GIVE US THAT RESPECT. YOU CAN FUCK OFF SERIOUSLY.

another thing i want to point out is. we are asking you to do arm motions. i know the other group is practising for their performance but please pay attention to us. if we want you to support and applause for them, we wouldn't have separated you into another group. PLEASE MYOB. i was damn angry just now.

-
gf. robt. cracked ankle and torn ligament.

take care. we'll carry you around if we need to.

i think it was a freak incident.

APRIL FOOL'S DAY

2010-04-01T15:34:00.001+08:00

i watched two brilliant champions league matches this morning and yesterday.

the first being bayern munich and manchester united. the home team had their sweet revenge when the scored in injury time to come from 0-1 to beat manu. and rooney limped off means he will miss this weekend's game at chelsea and the return leg at old trafford.

the second was arsenal hosting barcelona at the emirates. before the match started, my prediction was that arsenal would get whopped by barca. alumnia produced wonderful stops to deny them but arsenal was hit by injuries. their good fighting spirit saw them comeback from 0-2 to draw the game 2-2.

-
TODAY IS APRIL FOOL'S DAY!

my first training at tp after nationals was. fun? i'm not saying that i like being a tree but i'm willing to stand there and teach and guide if you show that you're willing to learn. i shall not use any profanities in my blog. if you want to give me that kind of attitude then i promise i'll pretend you never existed.

going for legacy's training later. to see? after tuesday's training, i'm starting to have my doubts about going there. oh wells. hope for the best!

LEGACY RECRUITMENT DRIVE

2010-03-28T23:21:00.002+08:00

i went for legacy's open training at bhcc today, and based for the first time since..i can't even remember. and i realised that being stagnant and not able to base sucks. okayy backspotting is important but it isn't as fun as basing.

learnt new things, chatted with people from other teams, and concluded with a deep thought that i'm still thinking of now.

i think it's highly likely that i'm going to juggle two sides. i guess i wasn't given enough opportunities in tp for whatever reason that i don't wish to know now that i've graduated. let it remain that way forever.

been pms-ing, exposing my split personalities.. sorry to those that i've accidentally vented my anger on. and those who listened and talked to me. (:

2010-03-23T23:43:00.003+08:00

i guessed, wondered, pondered and stalked and now i guess i just confirmed it.

some things were waiting to be given up. i'd be lying if i say i didn't see this coming.

oh wells, isn't it.

blazers nationals team 2010

2010-03-23T00:48:00.001+08:00

proud to be a blazers cheerleader!(:

volume 5: redemption FINISHED

2010-03-22T01:29:00.001+08:00

I'M DONE WATCHING HEROES VOLUME 5: REDEMPTION! full 19 episodes of it.

i'm going to watch glee tomorrow and finish watching my movie lists!

volume 6: brave new world

kinda describes me, doesn't it.

national cheerleading championships 2010

2010-03-21T01:15:00.002+08:00

it's over, is it? just like that.

the past two years i spent in cheerleading has really been the best days of my life. i made wonderful friends who shared the same laughter, hardship, tears and joy together. even if i'm graduating, so what? my heart will always be with tp blazers.

I LOVE YOU GUYS! (:

-
ncc2010 at singapore expo.

senior high.
1st - magnum force
2nd - rp rexaz
3rd - sp gusto

honestly speaking, it's sad that we didn't win anything with the effort we put in. however, cheerleading isn't all about winning medals. medals are just a physical matter that shows the effort you've put in. this effort can be shown in other ways such as cheer spirit and fun.

larry emphasized that he wanted to see the cheer spirit in us and i guess we did him proud. we did coach proud and most importantly, we did ourselves proud. winning a trophy is only figurative. we had fun and we gained experience.

blazers. i know you will win the trophy next year. stop shedding tears of disappointment now. i only want to see you shedding tears of joy for the future.

open category.
1st - ntu aces team red and wildcards
2nd - none
3rd - ntu aces team blue

congratulations to wildcards! you really did yourself proud by standing up to the challenge. for the effort that you've put in, you've been duly rewarded. keep up the good work! (:

no further comments. sensitive topics.
-

2010-2011 blazers committee.
captain mentor - kelwin
captain - fiona
vice captain - guan feng
secretary - michelle
quarter master - justin

congratulations to the new committee. i hope that everyone would give the new committee your fullest support and guide them along the way. especially our dearest captain mentor!

CHEEROBICS 2010

2010-03-20T00:54:00.002+08:00

the national cheerleading championships 2010 is finally here.

TODAY, BLAZERS WILL ROCK THE STAGE. BLAZERS ARE YOU READY?

it also marks the end of my two years in tp cheerleading. yeah it's sad but my heart will always be with you guys!

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE! WE'LL CHEER LIKE WE NEVER CHEERED BEFORE!! (:

LAST TRAINING WITH TPB TOMORROW :'(

2010-03-18T02:49:00.002+08:00

2 years with tpb in cheerleading. and i'm reaching my last official training tomorrow. time really flies, doesn't it.

i wonder what would life be without training every monday, tuesday and thursday. what would life be after nationals this saturday. i've graduated from it.

it's a really weird feeling. i can't comprehend.

imagine being all hyped up for nationals. okayy, i will be. i don't need to imagine that. after after that, what's next to come. i don't know.

fuck off

2010-03-13T01:02:00.001+08:00

firstly, you are fucking irresponsible.

secondly, you've fucking self-conceited and you think that you're the king of the world. and i don't fucking care.

FINAL EXAM RESULTS

2010-03-12T14:56:00.002+08:00

EXAM RESULTS FOR 0700576B:

fyp : b
sip : pass
netsec : c
ccom : b+
mcom : d
mmns : b+
apel3 : pass

GPA : SUCKS.

on the lesser side, i've graduated peacefully. no supplementary papers. i'm done with tp. going to miss a lot of people there. :(

2010-03-11T13:44:00.001+08:00

when i realised that i know so much
so much that people don't even realise it

ignorance is my new best friend

2010-03-09T07:54:00.001+08:00

GOOD MORNING! it's been a long time since i'm up so early.

2010-03-07T20:25:00.002+08:00

last two weeks.

not going to complain. everything's going to be perfect. we'll outlive expectations.

picture perfect.